In a world of few absolutes, there is one – and its name is death. Yes. We all know it is a reality, but that doesn’t take away the pain and grief you experience when you lose someone you love.
Dealing with death – whether it’s a family member or friend – can take a toll on the best of us.
In the past several months, I’ve lost enough people to last a lifetime. Until now, I’ve resisted writing about the losses as I didn’t want to bring a somber mood to the blog.
But today I’m reminded that I’m not the only person dealing with losing family and friends, and that my words may help you or another reader. So, I’m going to share what I’ve been holding in far too long.
It was August 19, 2009 (exactly 1 day after my birthday) when I lost my stepfather. It came as a total shock. I can remember receiving “the” call, dropping everything to rush to the hospital only to learn we were too late. There was no illness or other signs leading up to the day. Fast forward to March 2010 when we lost 2 family members within days.
But it doesn’t end there. On Easter Sunday night, a dear childhood friend lost her 6 year old daughter. Where does it end?
Dealing with Loss
I won’t pretend I’m feeling “peachy” dealing with all of this. That would be a flat out lie. At times, to say I’m devastated is an understatement.
Death – in recent months – has turned my world upside down. It has pierced my heart like nothing else, leaving me emotional, fearful, confused and indecisive at times. You may have experienced similar feelings.
I’m no expert on how we should deal with loss. In fact, I’m probably the poster child for how NOT to deal with it. I haven’t discussed my loss with a therapist, and for a while I hid my feelings from those close to me. In public, I felt I had to “be strong for the family,” but inside I was shattered. Until now…
Learning from Death
Aside from all of the pain, death serves another (BIG) purpose. It teaches a lesson – that life can be short.
Tomorrow isn’t promised so we have to live our best lives every single day, and teach our children (by example) to do the same.
There is no room for self-defeating thoughts, fear or anything else that is keeping us from pursuing our dreams.
How about you? Have you lost a friend or family member recently? Please share how you are coping.
I’m Vickie Perry Barker, the Atlanta Mompreneur. I'm a 32 year old mom of 2 and wife of 10 years embracing motherhood, marriage and entrepreneurship. I started this blog so I will have a place to share my thoughts and experiences on a number of topics, people, places and things that motivate and inspire me. Thank you for visiting. Please come back!
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I can relate to what you are going through. Death is not an easy subject for anyone. And it seems like when one person dies there are always more to follow. Yes, death is inevitable, but it also painful for those of us left behind. My grandma died recently – she was 95 and that was very hard. But when a young person dies, that is just unbearable.
Thank God you are able to share and express your emotions concerning death. That is the best thing to do. So many people hold in their feelings and it can cause depression or even anger. As long as you are admitting that you are struggling – that is the first step to moving forward.
The only thing that really keeps me going is my faith in God. I know that He has a place prepared in heaven for those who love Him and I will one day see many of my loved ones who have passed on. This gives me hope and a tremendous peace and I will pray that you will feel that as well.
God bless you, DAWN
Thank you for your kind words, Dawn. Blogging about it really did wonders for me today. I should have done it sooner. I remember you writing about your grandma passing recently. It’s hard, I know. But this too shall pass. Your prayers are right on time.